Handout or a handup?

Richmond Times Dispatch
Faith & Values
Posted: Saturday, July 26, 2014
By Stephen Sowulewski

"It's always best to give a hand up, not a handout"

Values are something that we possess that help to anchor us, and more important, our value system gives us a discerning lens with which we live our lives. One of the core values that I embrace is hard work. I am grateful to my parents for instilling that value in me, and I marvel at their generation (the baby boomers) for the amazing work ethic that they espouse. It has been said that one does not get anywhere without hard work - I totally agree.

Learning the value of hard work begins early: the chores we do as kids, the part-time jobs we hold as teenagers and the vocations we seek in our quest to earn an honest day's living. Unfortunately, we live in an age that some like to call the "now generation." I have heard this phrase uttered by some who might think that my generation (X) or generation Y would do well by hearing this assertion.

I do not take offense to this phrase as I think it has a lot of truth to it. My father worked 36.3 years in a General Motors factory in less-than-comfortable conditions so that he could provide for his family. On his last day of work, I accompanied him and quickly learned just how loud and uncomfortable it must have been to work in that plant on a summer day - hotter than the hottest day outside in Michigan. I would say that qualifies as hard work.

My mother stayed at home to raise my sister and me, and what a testament to hard work that is. My mother did a fantastic job raising us even through the challenges of my sister's illness, not to mention her daily duties in keeping our household running smoothly. This was no easy task as she also was a caregiver to my grandparents, as was my father after he finished work for the day. Hard work, you bet!

Wanting things now and expecting that we get them, or that we deserve them just because, is a line of thinking that I simply cannot comprehend. For example, when I volunteered to build houses in Durban, South Africa, in an area ravaged by apartheid, I soon learned that the recipients of these houses would be putting their own "sweat equity" into the construction of the house along with a team of others - a stellar example of a hand up and definitely not a handout.

Take another example: throwing money at a situation instead of teaching people how to reap the fruits of their labor. Still another example might point to those who try to keep pace with others and find themselves in financial turmoil in the desire to acquire items that they otherwise would not be able to afford.

So whether it was the sage advice of a teacher or unconditional support of a loved one or friend, knowing that help came with hard work on the receiving end makes the experience even more rewarding. No matter what age you happen to be, I am confident that you can recall a time when someone gave you that helping hand during the course of your lifetime.

Stephen Sowulewski is an associate professor of health at Reynolds Community College and a parishioner at St. Michael's Catholic Church.